Flood

Talked today with a woman I work with. She suffers from bipolar I and has been hospitalised due to manic periods. We compared experiences – she’s very visual and talked about the clarity with which she saw an orange, in all it’s detail and completeness. I talked about the heady and joyous sensations I get from music and language which can become overpowering. We seemed to agree that it varies between hyper- and hypo- sensitivity to the world around us, our emotions being big and strong (good as well as bad) and our coping mechanisms occasionally leaving something to be desired. We laughed a lot and it was a really lovely experience. She kept a positive spin on things and highlighted our creativity and empathy, while also sharing her fears of drug dependency and need for balance. She talked about the triad of drive, threat and soothing systems that we need to keep in check, we shared our family histories and saw how they were similar and made sense. It was really good.

I have words and energy, my jokes are getting spikier and I’m moving more. I’m tired from poor sleep but still feel good. I feel horribly and self-consciously overweight at the minute (I weigh around 11.15 stone/76kg) but also ok. Onwards.

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